Fresh Human Milk

As I walked down the aisles

of routine and non-thinking

I was faced with

a revolutionary product:

fresh human milk.

I hung out by this little booth

they placed to promote it,

waiting for a sales rep to come and

explain to me this new,

visionary protein source,

so said their brochure.

From behind deep red curtains

3 beefy, corpulent impregnated women emerged,

with their saggy breasts and golf-sized nipples

hanging out from the creases of their buttery physique,

shackled by their ankles,

dragging their heavy selves to the front of the stage.

A sales rep then came and made quite of an entrance announcing

"HUMAN MILK – BECAUSE HUMANS ARE SUPERIOR".

More people gathered around

and as if

we were part of a synchronized symphony

we listened to the sounds of

water breaking,

one right after the other and that was the cue:

that labor was about to take place.

We all watched it closely,

a well developed array of sounds and crescendos

until climax was reached

and babies were born.

They were immediately stripped away from

their mothers, with no consent, despite the drama

and incessant crying and squeaky noises they made.

Just shut up already, will ya?

We’re here waiting for that moment to arise, the moment

when we get to taste the whitest of all milks, the most

Nutritious of them all, the tastiest, the best.

Ew. To think we would ever want to drink anything else

rather than what comes from our own kind,

to think that we would ever want to drink anything else

but what we drank when we were babies?

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the natural thing to do.

Oh, and speaking of babies… what are you guys going

to do with those babies?

Oh… you gotta get rid of them of course.

It makes sense, it’s a little sad, I mean, you know,

but unless we wanna keep these women

producing our milk we can’t really afford to keep these babies around,

Now, can we? No. We can’t.

So bring up the pumps, and let the feast begin.

Oh, so, huh, do these pumps hurt their nipples, by any chance?

No, of course not, it probably hurts just as much as if a baby

was sucking on it, except that these pumps are kept on pretty

much until there’s nothing left in them. Yeah.

Amazing. The pumps were transparent so we could

see the milk traveling across, at an impressive speed

and swirling around in this big container, which then

poured into our glasses so we could all have a taste.

And after the last drop of human milk was drained

the R.A.P.E rack team arrived with their big pistols filled

with virile sperms for more impregnation

as the lactation process can never stop.

There’s so much to produce with human milk, like

cheese and yogurt and more cheese, and double cheese, please,

and butter and all those delicious things one makes with milk.

But now superior than the rest.

Yeah. It all made sense. So we cheered to that,

And drank up that human milk.