As I walked down the aisles
of routine and non-thinking
I was faced with
a revolutionary product:
fresh human milk.
I hung out by this little booth
they placed to promote it,
waiting for a sales rep to come and
explain to me this new,
visionary protein source,
so said their brochure.
From behind deep red curtains
3 beefy, corpulent impregnated women emerged,
with their saggy breasts and golf-sized nipples
hanging out from the creases of their buttery physique,
shackled by their ankles,
dragging their heavy selves to the front of the stage.
A sales rep then came and made quite of an entrance announcing
"HUMAN MILK – BECAUSE HUMANS ARE SUPERIOR".
More people gathered around
and as if
we were part of a synchronized symphony
we listened to the sounds of
one right after the other and that was the cue:
that labor was about to take place.
We all watched it closely,
a well developed array of sounds and crescendos
until climax was reached
and babies were born.
They were immediately stripped away from
their mothers, with no consent, despite the drama
and incessant crying and squeaky noises they made.
Just shut up already, will ya?
We’re here waiting for that moment to arise, the moment
when we get to taste the whitest of all milks, the most
Nutritious of them all, the tastiest, the best.
Ew. To think we would ever want to drink anything else
rather than what comes from our own kind,
to think that we would ever want to drink anything else
but what we drank when we were babies?
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the natural thing to do.
Oh, and speaking of babies… what are you guys going
to do with those babies?
Oh… you gotta get rid of them of course.
It makes sense, it’s a little sad, I mean, you know,
but unless we wanna keep these women
producing our milk we can’t really afford to keep these babies around,
Now, can we? No. We can’t.
So bring up the pumps, and let the feast begin.
Oh, so, huh, do these pumps hurt their nipples, by any chance?
No, of course not, it probably hurts just as much as if a baby
was sucking on it, except that these pumps are kept on pretty
much until there’s nothing left in them. Yeah.
Amazing. The pumps were transparent so we could
see the milk traveling across, at an impressive speed
and swirling around in this big container, which then
poured into our glasses so we could all have a taste.
And after the last drop of human milk was drained
the R.A.P.E rack team arrived with their big pistols filled
with virile sperms for more impregnation
as the lactation process can never stop.
There’s so much to produce with human milk, like
cheese and yogurt and more cheese, and double cheese, please,
and butter and all those delicious things one makes with milk.
But now superior than the rest.
Yeah. It all made sense. So we cheered to that,
And drank up that human milk.